Chapter 10: Nursing Care (3)
Creak,
The door slowly opened, and heavy footsteps filled the quiet room.
Clink, clank, clink…
The figure paused for a moment to look out the window, then stopped in front of Woo-jin’s bed.
Da-eun, she was today’s watcher.
The reason they had prepared and given him sleeping pills was none other than to ensure his deep sleep and prevent any impulsive actions while he slept.
However, under the judgment that the psychological trauma inflicted upon him would be beyond imagination, they had decided to take turns guarding his side every night.
During their adventure, Woo-jin had taken most of the night watches, but…
They were blessed ones.
Staying up all night was something they could easily do with focus.
“Today, I’ll watch over you.”
Her usual longsword wasn’t at her hip, but
Her two fists and steel armor would take its place.
While she gazed endlessly at his face,
“Ugh…”
A groan suddenly escaped him.
“Go away, go awayyy…”
Could it be that even her presence was unwelcome?
Da-eun felt her fists clench.
Could she be forgiven, she who had fallen victim to the Demon King’s dirty trick,
She who, because of it, had driven him away, ultimately pushing him to his death?
She had held onto a thread of hope upon hearing that his condition had improved, but was even that not permitted?
As despair enveloped her, and she felt her buried self-destructive urges begin to crawl out from within her—
“No, please… someone, someone…”
His movements, flailing his slender arms, resisting something.
She wanted to help him, but there was no way to do so.
How could she, trapped in her memories and living with anguish, dare to help him?
“Hah, haaah—!”
Pain, he was feeling it.
His arms trembled, stiff, as he let out faint groans.
Ah, he was experiencing the brink of his own death once again.
Just before she felt despair rise—
She saw his outstretched hand.
That hand, desperately wishing for someone to save him.
He was the one who had pulled her out of fear,
Her benefactor, who had instilled courage in her.
If he acted that way, she too must do the same.
She reached out and firmly grasped his hand.
“This time, this time I’m here…”
She extended her other hand a little further and enveloped his hand.
“You’re not alone… anymore!”
His head and body, which had been thrashing wildly, gradually calmed down, then…
“…Ugh…”
With tears, completely ceased.
She simply couldn’t bear it.
Even in the deepest night, when he should be most at peace, even with sleeping pills to subdue his consciousness, he had to suffer like this.
How many nights had he spent in pain?
How many more nights would he spend in pain in the future?
She slowly let go of his hand.
“Ssuk,”
With her gauntleted hand, she took out a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped his tears.
Her constantly trembling right hand, and her left hand gripping it.
A completely broken relationship.
His embrace, which seemed forever out of reach.
It was a night of great trial for her.
Unaware that his sincere letter lay on the desk,
She had to soothe her wounded heart.
‘It’s okay… hadn’t you already prepared yourself for this…?’
But they say the more you touch a wound, the more it festers.
Her heart grew darker and darker.
Slowly taking their time in their respective rooms, the three took turns reading the letter Erika had brought back.
Erika, her eyes red, but unable to hide the surging joy on her face, read the letter to the very end.
Sirke was deeply moved by his ‘repayment,’ clasping her hands together and letting the tears flow freely.
Da-eun, at last, was finally able to escape the chains that had bound her until morning.
His pain, which could not be spoken to anyone.
Surely, if she were to tell the others, they would be greatly saddened.
If those who should be caring for him more than anyone were to collapse now,
He would surely not be able to smile at them.
Because he was such a kind person.
Even though it would be natural for him to resent them, he worried about them first.
He loved them.
Yes, that was certain.
Although a bitter feeling surfaced at the impossibility of fully claiming his love,
Was that such a big deal?
His ocean-like mercy must surely have originated from love.
…If so, at the very end.
If she could show him a bright smile.
Could he finally show his true feelings?
Da-eun slowly took off her helmet.
She unwrapped the bandages, neatly rolled them, and placed them in a drawer.
In the mirror, a beautiful woman with black, long hair,
A beauty with a gentle smile, not completely pale, but with delicate skin.
Her eyes reflected a withered flower, exhausted and steeped in sorrow.
“From now on, I need to change.”
No matter how much she covered herself, nothing would change.
The demon who had mocked her and trampled on her heart was no longer in this world.
That fact was certain and unchanging.
She pushed aside the helmet and bandages that had been her shackles, and sighed in front of the mirror.
When she managed a slightly brighter smile…
A flower, tinged with a little vitality, reflected in her eyes too.
I received their letters.
It was quite fascinating how their individual speaking styles showed through in their writing.
Was I like that too? Before I could even fully think that, I remembered that the letter had already gone to them and couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret.
Erika was conveying that her cooking had improved a lot.
“That’s right, it really has improved a lot…”
Recalling that what she thought and what she had written last night matched, he smiled.
“Oh, really.”
And her subsequent apology carried a hint of exhaustion.
He hadn’t even asked for an apology about the sleeping pills, but along with her apology…
There was a sentence that had been roughly crossed out.
He could barely make out the four letters, ‘I’m sorry.’
Perhaps, they were suffering from even more severe guilt than he had imagined.
When his thoughts reached that point, he suddenly felt a surge of anxiety.
He quickly read the next letter.
Sirke said she had been nursing him.
That would be right, she had always taken on the role of healing wounds.
Flowers… books… yes, it’s fine…
…Even if it doesn’t reach, keep going?
Something felt unsettling.
The words “it’s okay if I don’t get a reply” could never be written by someone in a normal state.
Something was twisted.
Finally, he read Da-eun’s letter.
Hers seemed the most serious.
And with her mentions, the pieces of the puzzle finally seemed to fit.
They were deliberately trying to erase their guilt and apologies as much as possible.
Woo-jin, not wanting to bring up his traumas again – perhaps Sirke had instructed her, as she was always the one acting as the doctor –
They must have forced themselves to bring up other topics or shorten the letters.
Da-eun tried her best not to talk about their old world.
However, she was always the one who ate joyfully when food was served, and sometimes shed a few tears.
But… he could assert that she had never initiated such conversations herself.
“My God…”
What kind of feelings had driven them to write those letters?
Had they imagined things far worse than his actual condition and scourged themselves with those thoughts?
He began to feel sorry for them.