Chapter 8: Facing the Unfamiliar

2: Hello, I’m an Angel

Walking with a friend didn’t lessen the stares on the street. Still, it was a relief that the attention was split between Junseo and me, making it a bit more bearable.

Thankfully, no more incidents like earlier happened, and I made it home safely.

“See ya.”

“Yeah.”

I didn’t say thanks. Too awkward for guys.

After sending Junseo off, a quiet stillness settled in the room. Alone in my empty apartment, I felt the familiar loneliness of living solo and sat on the bed. Sunlight hit my head directly.

…

Warm.

Lying on the bed, basking in the warm sunlight streaming through the window, my gloomy mood melted away. A goofy grin escaped.

The power of the sun. I bet I could shoot a Solar Beam right now.

Stretching my arms out, ready to fire an energy blast, a loud grumble interrupted my focus.

Oh.

I forgot to eat breakfast.

A Solar Beam needs a turn to charge anyway. Time to eat first. I got up.

Rustle, rustle.

“No cup noodles…”

I rummaged through the box where I kept my instant noodles, but there wasn’t a single cup noodle left. Only the kind that needs cooking and washing dishes—such a hassle.

“No choice, then.”

I grabbed a packet of noodles, set it by the stove, and reached for a pot from the high cabinet.

Reaching…

“Ugh…!”

I couldn’t reach it.

It felt so close, but my height was just shy. Even jumping, my fingers only grazed the pot, making it rattle without grabbing it.

Tch.

If I couldn’t reach at all, fine, but being this close sparked my stubbornness.

Alright, you win or I win—let’s do this.

The battle ended in my defeat.

I had to climb a chair to get the pot. Realizing how much smaller I’d become sank my mood, which had been floating high from the sunlight.

So sad.

I was already short, and now I’m even shorter.

I set the pot on the stove and waited for the water to boil. Add the seasoning, the veggies, the noodles.

The apartment filled with the delicious smell of ramen. My hungry stomach roared in response. Four more minutes, calm down.

I stared blankly at the bubbling noodles.

Bubbles rose between the strands, jostling to reach the top first, only to pop uselessly when they got there…

These tiny bubbles, competing fiercely only to meet a hollow end, exposed the emptiness and futility of human society.

People should learn from watching ramen. This is modern art worth 12 billion won in emotions.

Lost in weird thoughts about ramen, my phone suddenly rang.

The screen flashed [Big Bro] in big letters. What’s he calling for at this hour?

“Yeah? What’s up, bro?”

“How’d you… Oh, Junseo told you?”

<Yeah, punk. You trying to worry the family like that?>

“No, it wasn’t…”

<Whatever, you hurt? Anyone stalking you or something? Keep an eye out.>

Stalking? That’s a bit much.

It wasn’t even a big deal. He’s worrying too much.

“I’m fine. It was nothing. Just someone took a photo, that’s all. Junseo overreacted.”

<Still, think about yourself. You’re gonna get a lot of attention now—don’t be so careless. What if something happens?>

“…”

His voice, full of concern, left me speechless. He spoke again.

“Home? But then commuting…”

<You’ve got a month before school starts, right? Mom and Dad don’t know about this, but they’d freak if they did. Come home, at least until school starts.>

“… I’ll think about it.”

Home, where Mom, Dad, and my brother live.

He might be right. I’d be safer with family nearby if anything happened.

Plus, being alone makes me gloomy. It’d be smarter to be with family.

It’s an obvious choice.

But I couldn’t give a clear answer. Why?

I hate feeling tossed around by this transformation. I want to believe my life hasn’t collapsed, that I haven’t changed, that I’m still me.

That’s why I couldn’t answer right away. I couldn’t choose, just delayed.

My brother didn’t push.

<Alright.>

“Yeah, bye.”

<Oh, before you go, call me “big brother” just once—>

Click.

Ruining the moment. Tch.

“… Pfft.”

Still, a bit of humor’s better than a heavy mood. I tossed the phone onto the bed and moved the pot to the table.

The ramen was way overcooked.

Ugh, gross.

I forced down the soggy ramen and tossed the pot in the sink. Future me will handle dishes. Even one serving feels like a lot with my smaller body.

Still, I can’t resist sweets. I popped a candy from my pocket into my mouth. The sweet-tart orange flavor spread over my tongue.

Nom nom.

Hehe, so good.

…

Anyway.

Killing time like this, the quiet stillness crept back into the room. The loneliness of being alone settled in again.

I don’t like it. Noisy’s better than quiet.

I chucked the candy stick into the trash. The melted, sticky stick missed and clung to the bag.

Sigh.

I was about to sunbathe when a signal hit my lower belly.

“… Gotta pee.”

Must’ve drunk too much water with the ramen.

I headed to the bathroom, lowered the toilet seat, pulled down my pants, and sat.

A week in, and this routine still feels alien.

For 21 years, I peed standing up. Now, sitting down feels so wrong. Every time, whether I want to or not, I’m forced to face that I’m a girl now.

Looking down, no stick in sight, and I even have to wipe carefully afterward. No matter how much I avoid my new body, peeing makes it impossible to ignore.

… That’s why I tried to avoid peeing during that week at the hotel, until Jimin scolded me. It’s not as bad now, but still.

Trickle.

Wipe, wipe.

… Teddy bear underwear.

Speaking of, I need new underwear.

Teddy bear panties? Embarrassing.

I’ll ask Jimin how to buy underwear later. Something normal…

“Nope.”

After mulling it over on the bed, I decided to reject my brother’s offer. I can handle this alone.

… Maybe it’s just stubbornness.

But I want to hold out a bit longer. If it gets too much, I can go home then.

<Alright… Got it.>

“Huh?”

A strange, ominous vibe came through the phone. My hair stood on end.

Why’s he setting that tone?

“… Sorry. I’ll manage on my own.”

The uneasy feeling from earlier vanished. My silly brother’s voice came back.

Guess that tone was a joke.

“What?”

“Got it.”

“… Okay.”

Kidnapped? That’s a bit much. Korea’s pretty safe.

“Got it.”

<Alright. Hanging up.>

“Yeah.”

He’s a bit dramatic, but it means he cares. I appreciated it, so…

Swallowing my embarrassment, I said, “Thanks.”

<… If you’re thankful, call me “big brother.”>

“Pfft, no way.”

<Ugh, you jerk. Bye!>

“Yeah.”

He must’ve been embarrassed too, joking like that.

I stuffed the phone in my pocket, lay on the bed, and basked in the sunlight. Staring at the warm sky through the window.

The room was as quiet and lonely as before…

But somehow, it felt a little less lonely.