Chapter 9: Drinking parties are always like that

[Lmao, two bottles per person is the baseline.]
[Why care about your health when you’re young lol?]
[Can we see gallery owner’s drunken antics today?]

While Seoyoung unnie sighed deeply, Yuna kept giggling silently for some reason.
Guess she’s a pretty strong drinker too.

I don’t hate alcohol.
It’s the hangover the next day I can’t stand.
I actually liked drinking for a while.

For a shut-in like me, alcohol’s like a doping agent.
It dulls the awkwardness a bit and makes me act more outgoing.
But what’s the point of forcing myself to fit in with liquid courage?
Afterward, I just end up overthinking whether I said or did something stupid, which is exhausting.

‘Since I’m here, no choice…’

I didn’t plan to just sip water and leave at an after-party.
I’ll drink lightly, keep an eye out, and slip away without disrupting tomorrow’s classes.

Maybe they’d coordinated in advance, but the chicken and drinks came out fast.

“Cheers.”

Clinking beer glasses, I took a gulp.
Draft beer’s definitely tasty.
Compared to those soju bottles lined up like a firing squad for 5:5 somaek, it’s heaven.

“It’s so great having Yeseung here.”
“Right, unnie?”
“Yeah, show your face more often.”
“Doesn’t have to be department stuff, you know?”

I gave a wry smile without answering.
They’re good people, no doubt.
The problem is the world’s full of not-so-good ones, and I’m not exactly a saint either.

Seoyoung unnie started recounting first-semester stories over snacks.

“I didn’t know Yeseung was such a talker until then.”
“Me too! Thought she was quiet, but with some drinks…”
“Choi Seoyoung, you’re one to talk. I still remember you smacking the back of my head when drunk.”
“That wasn’t drunk! I wasn’t drunk!”
“Don’t end up like her, you two…”

These were all events I was at.
Realizing they’re being considerate by picking stories I was part of makes me a bit uncomfortable.
I’m grateful, sure, but it bugs me that they’re choosing topics and words with me in mind.

‘What a rotten mindset.’

Yet if they talked about stuff only they knew, I’d secretly complain.
I’m such a messed-up person.
That’s why I avoid people.

[She’s forcing an awkward smile lol.]
[Loosen up your face!!]
[They’re all nice, what’s the issue for real?]
[It’s all because of her face lol.]
[She’s so pretty, even that expression looks cool lol.]

Is it that obvious on my face?
Ugh, getting called out makes me hyper-aware, and I don’t know what expression to make.
If I’m feeling it, those three probably are too.

Feeling parched, I kept chugging my drink.

Maybe it’s the new body?
I’m getting tipsy faster than usual.

Come to think of it, yesterday with just one beer during the movie, I felt buzzed later too.

“Unnie, can you pass a tissue…”
“Unnie? UNNIE? Pfft haha!!”
“Yeseung’s going for that vibe?”
“N-no, un…nie. I misspoke.”

I forgot I need to watch my terms.
Of course “unnie” doesn’t roll off my tongue—I’ve never used it in my life.

‘Should I call hyung “oppa” now?’

No way, I’d rather die.
I’ll just avoid calling him anything.
I swore to myself multiple times.

The drinking session got livelier.

As expected from the same section, people moved between tables.
The three stuck around longer, probably for my sake, but I didn’t want to hold them back.

“I drank a lot, gonna rest a bit.”
“Huh? Already?”
“Yeah, feeling a bit tipsy.”

Neither Seoyoung unnie nor Hyunseok hyung forced me to stay.
They’re just nice people looking out for me, not trying to cling excessively.

“Yuna, you go have fun too.”
“But I’m sticking to you…”
“What sticking? They’re calling you over there.”

Waving her off, Yuna glanced at me and got up.
She must’ve sensed I’d feel overwhelmed if she kept hovering.

[She chased them all away, damn.]
[Is this what a voluntary shut-in looks like lol?]
[Never seen someone hate people this much.]
[Come on, go mingle a bit.]

“I’m good. I’m already at lethal levels of tired.”

[Lethal levels lmao.]
[She might actually die lol.]
[I like this. If others are around, she can’t even reply to us.]
[Only she thinks about us, sob.]

“What are you on about.”

I let out a small chuckle.
Drinking parties usually make me feel lonely.
Surrounded by so many people, I still feel like an outsider.

Like I’m alone in the end.

But having these people respond to my mumbling doesn’t feel so bad.
At least they’re listening to me, focusing on me.
They’ve only known me for a day, but they know my usual life.
Since they’re always watching, I can’t put on a facade, so I feel at ease.

Even if some of them are jerks.

[Yo, snap out of it. You’re at a drinking party with classmates and seniors, why are you talking to us?]

“Shut up. I’ll do what I want.”

Sipping the remaining drink, I gave a snarky reply and looked around at other tables.

“Wow… drinking games in the second semester too?”

[Yup, they’re playing drinking games lol.]
[Drinking parties mean drinking games lol.]
[Probably because it’s the kickoff after-party.]
[It’s always like that at the start of the semester lol.]

Many tables were playing drinking games.
I have bad memories of those.

Drinking games are like a wall to weed out shut-ins.
Most require quick wit and test how much you can let loose.

“Hello! Cleopatra! The best potato chip in the world!”

This one tests how loudly you can embarrass yourself in public with escalating high-pitched voices.

“Hey, you, you!”

Pointing games are a blatant system to exclude people you don’t like.

“Strawberry, carrot, watermelon, cantaloupe, melon~ Game reverse point!”

This one’s designed to destroy someone who’s already tipsy and acting out.
You have to name fruits in rhythm, like the I Am Ground game, but with reverse pointing, you say the fruits backward while the order changes based on who’s pointed at.

It gets worse when they mix it with other drinking games.
Doing this while drunk is mind-boggling.

[They’re having a drinking game duel lol.]
[Damn, I’ve played that a lot lol.]
[Seoyeon’s drinking games are intense, wow.]

The point of drinking games is to single out and send packing anyone who’s clueless or too bold.
Sure, they can help you bond, but…

The penalties are even worse.

“Baskin~ Robbins~ Thirty~ One. Cute and cuddly Thirty~ One.”

Forcing you to act cute in front of dozens.

“If you lose the next round~ It’s a full bottle of soju! Hey! Hey!”

They make you dance or sing on the spot.
Refuse and actually drink a whole bottle? The vibe crashes instantly.

I’ve had fun with them before, but reflecting afterward, the post-party blues always hit because of these games.

“Ugh… hate it. Hate it.”

[Gallery owner’s PTSD fully loaded lol.]
[Honestly, drinking games are just fun.]
[I found them awful too lol.]

Shaking my head, I quietly sipped my drink when someone sat across from me.

“Hey, Han Yeseung. Why’re you talking to yourself so much?”

My face stiffened at the voice.
Kim Taeyoon.
Not someone I wanted to see.

Memories played in my head.

– Han Yeseung’s kinda weird, right?
– She shows up but doesn’t fit in.
– Faking it so obviously.

He wasn’t wrong.
So I wasn’t even that mad.
It only stung because I overheard it, and others did too.

If he’d said it to me directly or kept it to himself, I’d have thought the problem was just me.

Did he say the same thing in this world where I’m Han Yeseung, the girl?
Probably. Most of my past seems unchanged.

“Didn’t think you’d show up, surprising.”
“…What do you want?”
“What? Just saying hi. You’re the same as ever.”

What a nerve.
Greeting someone you talked crap about.

“I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

I meant to stop drinking, but I kept chugging to avoid responding.
This was starting to feel dangerous.
My head’s spinning.
Normally, I’d be fine with this much.

Just leave already.

[Yo, stop drinking.]
[Her limiter’s off.]
[Don’t know who that guy is, but just cuss him out to his face. Stop bottling it up.]
[She’s so frustrating for real.]

“Shut up.”
“What…?”
“Not you, idiot.”

I glared at his startled face and wobbled to my feet.

If he won’t leave, I will. No choice.

In a spinning world, I took one step at a time.
I can walk straight, so I’m not that drunk.
This is fine. I’m satisfied. No problem.

Pushing through the crowd, I made it to the bathroom.

“Right… women’s bathroom…”

Since I’m a girl now, going to the men’s would be trouble.

Realizing that naturally means I’m not dangerously drunk yet.
See, I’m not an airhead.

I walked into the women’s bathroom and looked in the mirror.

A pretty girl with hollow eyes, wearing an oversized university jacket, stared back.
My face wasn’t flushed, so I’m probably still okay.
Maybe a bit pale, even.

Staring at the mirror, I headed toward a stall when someone grabbed my arm.

It’s Yuna.
I was fine coming in alone, but being in the women’s bathroom with her feels… guilty somehow.

“Yeseung, you okay?”
“What?”
“You drank a lot…”
“Oh, just a lil’ bit.”

Trying to prove I’m not drunk, Yuna let out a small laugh.
Then she slowly, step by step, got closer.

Closer. Even closer. Completely pressed against me.
She brought her lips to my ear and whispered softly, secretly.

“But aren’t you forgetting something?”

Oh, I forgot to turn off the channel.