Chapter 3: Just go out, just go out

It’s a peaceful weekend.
It was supposed to be a peaceful weekend.

I planned to stay holed up in my room, play some games, and when evening came, grab a can of beer and watch a movie I bought yesterday.

Sure, I live like a slacker every day, but that time was still precious to me.

[Gallery owner!! The weather outside is amazing!!]
[Super crisp fall weather, for real.]
[I went out for some photosynthesis and grew to 2 meters tall. No questions.]
[Lol, gallery owner’s heading to the rift with a growth spurt haha.]
[Gallery owner’s playing League? You a Hyeji main?]

I wish I could just pretend these people don’t exist.

But with thousands watching me, how could I?
The system or whatever keeps popping up the chat window to make sure I see it.

So I thought maybe playing a game would feel like casually streaming online.

[Guys, I can’t see the screen well.]
[You can adjust the angle lol.]
[Gallery owner didn’t even know that and went looking for the camera first, right? Lmao.]
[Pretty college girl playing League on a weekend. Is this a fantasy novel?]
[So, what’s your rank, gallery owner?]

“I’m Master.”

[At least make your lies believable lol.]
[What, got boosted? Boyfriend carried you?]
[Searched your ID, and you’re actually Master?]
[Lmao, but 1000 games played with a trashed win rate. No way it’s boosted haha.]

I had a feeling, but my account is still Master.
Honestly, I don’t care about most insults, but getting jabbed about my gaming skills pisses me off a bit.
Most of these guys are probably Bronze or Silver, no doubt.

So I played a serious game to prove a point.

[Defeat.]

I got absolutely wrecked.
Maybe it was because I tried too hard, or maybe the viewers got on my nerves.

Now I get why streamers turn off their broadcasts to focus.
With viewers giving advice every second, and it popping up in the corner of my vision, I can’t concentrate.

[Gallery owner… you’re a brainless top laner, huh.]
[I’m out, bye.]
[I’m a hardcore stalker, but watching you throw makes me not wanna bother.]
[Uh, don’t you know what warding is?]
[What, already done? I turned on League to snipe you.]
[Lmao, you’re not even high enough rank to snipe.]

Now even gaming, my one joy, has been taken away.

“Ugh, sh*t…”

I muttered a curse under my breath, and the chat exploded with comments again.

Earlier, I thought I could somehow live like this.
But thinking about living like this forever makes my vision go dark.

For real? I have to keep living like this?

[Yo, gallery owner, you doing okay? This is Seoul, South Korea. The sky’s clear, and the breeze is nice. If you ever go outside, I hope you experience this new world.]
[Brain-dead idiot lol.]
[Air quality’s awful today lmao.]
[Awful? Lol, it’s probably just bad fine dust, you moron haha.]

“I’ll go out! I’ll go out, so shut up already!”

Don’t these people have any worries?
If I saw something weird in my vision, I’d be freaking out, but these guys are something else.
I grabbed some socks and pulled out a thin jacket.
With the layered shirts for the chest issue, it felt a bit warm.

[Asked three times, what’s that university jacket?]
[Isn’t that a Seoyeon University jacket?]
[Yup. Gallery owner goes to a good school? Kinda jealous.]
[But looks like she doesn’t study, holed up in her room. Surprising.]

Looks like they spotted the university jacket nearby.

Saying I don’t look like I study?

It’s true, so it pisses me off even more.
As if they’re any different.

[Gallery owner, how old are you?]

“I’m 20.”

[Oh, I’m a ‘21er too. What department? Lol.]
[Dumbass, stop asking lol.]
[Is she sweating right now?]
[Ignore him, gallery owner. That guy’s not from Seoyeon lol.]

I might’ve panicked a bit.
They might not actually go to my school, but I wondered if I was giving away too much info too carelessly.

10,000 viewers isn’t a small number.
In Korea, that’s one in every 5,000 people.
A small fraction, but it’s not weird to run into someone.

‘But it’s not like I can hide it.’

They already know my face and can watch my life in real-time.
The moment I step outside, my address could get exposed, so hiding is pointless.
All I can hope is that people aren’t as bad as I fear.

[So, where you going?]

“Daiso.”

[Lmao, all that to go to Daiso haha.]
[Kinda funny lol, what you buying?]

“You don’t need to know what I’m buying.”

[Damn, so prickly.]
[Why does she have to tell you what she’s buying? Lol, you guys are ridiculous.]
[Why bother? It’s all on screen anyway. Acting sweet is gross lol.]

“Don’t fight. I’m just buying some stuff. It’s Daiso, it’s all basic stuff.”

[Gallery owner’s too nice. It’s just idiots arguing.]
[For real lol, she’s stopping them?]
[She just looks like a kind nerd. But, like, really pretty.]
[With that face, staying holed up and being a nerd is impossible unless you’re super kind lol.]

“Sigh…”

A sigh slipped out.
I chose this shut-in life because human interactions are exhausting.

It’s weird and absurd that so many people I don’t even need to deal with are watching my life like this.

“Stop calling me kind. I’m not f*cking kind.”

[You don’t have a d*ck, so how can it be kind? Lol.]
[Hey now.]
[If you’re kind, you don’t say you’re kind.]
[Yup, just this proves she’s super kind.]

Hearing praise I used to get as a kid feels weird.
Not wanting to hear more, I quickly left the house.

The crisp weather was nice.
Wasn’t the air quality bad? I’m too oblivious to notice.

[Wow, she really went out dressed like that.]
[If you get why she doesn’t have a boyfriend, upvote lol.]
[With that face, even jeans and a white tee would look good. Not easy lol.]

The constant comments made me check my appearance again.
I don’t get it. What’s the problem?
Sure, I layered two shirts because of the chest issue, but the jacket’s one I wore often as a guy.
The pants are just normal.

[Look at her tilting her head lol.]

“When did I tilt my head? Anyway, you guys probably don’t have girlfriends either, so what’s with the fashion critique?”

[Ouch, hitting us with facts.]
[Lol, the guys criticizing aren’t me, so why am I catching strays haha.]

“By the way, are you all guys? Your tone’s kinda… rough.”

[I’m a girl!]
[Me too.]
[Bullsh*t lol, that guy was hyped about seeing you naked earlier. Don’t trust him, gallery owner.]
[Even girls who end up in places like this talk similarly.]
[Yup, we’re all the same. Normal people would’ve gone to a mental hospital or turned OFF the channel by now lol.]

Reading closely, it seems there are some girls.
A small percentage, but they exist.

Does it even matter if they’re guys or girls in this situation?

[Yo, gallery owner, muttering to yourself on the street looks kinda… crazy? Sad.]
[For real, I’d look away if I saw that lol.]
[Here come the insults again, you jerks.]
[I’m bored, keep responding.]

“What am I supposed to do…”

I’m not doing this because I enjoy chatting.
It’s just hard to ignore when thousands are watching.

Or maybe it’s not even thousands anymore.

It says 10,000, but with the OFF function, some might turn it off and forget about it, thinking they were crazy for a bit.

“Anyone able to count how many people are here?”

[Lmao, it’s obviously a ton, who’s got time to count?]
[Make a post and count votes. Some won’t join, but it’ll give a rough estimate.]
[Yup, I made a post. Pin it.]
[This gallery’s admin seems to be the gallery owner?]

“Wait, let me try that.”

I checked the gallery on my phone, and I actually had admin rights.
Weird, since I never made an account on this community.

“Uh… I think it worked?”

[Why’s she so good at gallery stuff lol?]
[Shut-in life makes sense haha.]
[No way, even shut-ins aren’t that asocial. With that face, how could you be?]
[I’m a Seoyeon student, and if someone like her was active, there’d be rumors. She’s a shut-in, right?]
[This guy’s back. Just say you’re from Korea University, jeez.]

“Whether I’m a shut-in or not, why does it matter?”

I am a shut-in, but still.
With this appearance, they’d probably say I’m some tragic shut-in or something.
I can at least predict that much.

As I left the alley and hit the main road, I started seeing more people.
Gulp, I swallowed without thinking.
The gazes felt different somehow.

Before, I never noticed people looking at me.
Now, it’s not exactly bad vibes, but I can feel eyes on me, even just a little.

[What’s she doing? Why’s she frozen?]
[Social anxiety or something?]
[Didn’t you hear her curse? She’s fine.]
[Maybe she’s nervous thinking some gallery folks are out here lol, watch list vibes haha.]
[Lmao, that’s it.]

“It’s not that. I’m going.”

[Why’s your voice quieter?]
[Embarrassed to talk to us? Shy? Shy? Shy?]
[These guys have no shame lol.]

Thankfully, Daiso wasn’t far.

It was crowded, so I had to brace myself to go in.
The gazes still felt unfamiliar.

“I’ll buy something quick and head back.”

I started tossing stuff into a basket at the entrance.
From 2,000-won wet wipes to a coffee mug I probably won’t use.

Truth is, I didn’t come for those.
I quietly slipped a measuring tape into the basket, praying no one noticed.

[? What’d she just grab?]
[Measuring tape, right?]
[Why a measuring tape?]
[Not just any tape, a tailor’s measuring tape.]
[You making crafts or something, gallery owner?]

“Uh… yeah, sure.”

They were watching what I grabbed.
I thought I’d brushed it off, but then—

[Wait, is it for that? Size…]

Ugh, this life is not easy.