Chapter 7: It’s My Heart
“Thanks! I wonât be late because of you!”
Joon had confidently offered to help, only to place books in the wrong spots, but it was just a matter of changed locations.
The core of library work hadnât shifted, so he was still somewhat helpful to Hayan.
“But when did you do library work?”
Hayan visited the library almost every day.
If heâd worked there, she surely wouldâve seen him.
Yet, no matter how much she racked her memory, she couldnât recall seeing Joon since enrolling.
When she voiced her curiosity, Joon let out a small grunt and gave a vague answer.
“The librarian asked me to help out a bit last time.”
No need to mention it was seven years in the future, so he tossed out a half-baked excuse.
“I see~”
Surprisingly, it aligned with the library clubâs current situation, making it a convincing response.
âWell, Iâm the only club memberâŚâ
Third-years were too busy with college entrance exams to visit, and first- and second-years had zero interest in joining.
Occasionally, someone would try to join after seeing Hayan in the club, butâŚ
[If youâre joining because of Hayan, get lost.]
The librarian chased off any boys with ulterior motives, leaving Hayan as the sole member.
âI wish new members would join soonâŚâ
Unaware of the librarianâs gatekeeping, she just hoped for someone to share book talks with, like she did with Joon at lunch.
Without realizing it, she spoke to him as they walked back to class.
“Joon.”
“Yeah?”
How about joining the library club?
The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldnât say them.
His clear, round eyes seemed to filter out her impulsive thought, and the words stuck in her throat vanished.
“⌔
“Whyâre you staring like that?”
âIt wouldnât work, right?â
She opened her mouth briefly but stopped as a memory surfaced.
[If this monthâs rent goes out, food expensesâŚ]
Two summers ago.
After school, on her way from the library to cram school, she overheard a boy from her class, hair damp with sweat, muttering worries unfit for his age.
âJoon?â
She didnât know why he was there or dressed like that, but the words and the worry on his face felt too heavy to approach.
After that, she started paying more attention to him in class, noticing small things.
[PC bang after school?]
[Pass.]
Heâd grab his bag and vanish right after classes.
[PC bang this weekend?]
[Not going.]
He always shook his head at friendsâ invitations to hang out.
With constant excuses, she couldnât help but guess where he went and what he did.
âJoining the library club means staying after school⌠Thatâd be tough for him, right?â
Noticing Joonâs puzzled look, Hayan smiled naturally to cover it up.
“Nothing. Just thanks for helping.”
“You said that already.”
She wanted to ask him to join the club, but knowing heâd likely look troubled, she held back.
Opening the classroomâs back door, she said.
“Hehe⌠I was extra thankful, so I said it twice. Letâs sit!”
âA bit of a shame, but oh well.â
Even if he didnât join the club, heâd become a book buddy, so sheâd keep her greed in check.
After grueling classes, it was time for after-school cleaning.
By some twist of fate, Joon ended up cleaning with Park Chaerin.
The awkward silence was filled only by the sound of sweeping dust.
He knew he should say something, but her fierce expression, like a hunting dogâs, gave no opening.
âUgh⌠Why am I putting myself through this for some grand reward?â
Trying to save a girl he barely knew got him a bruised shin and a lifetime of mockery.
A sigh escaped at his pitiful life, but no complaints followed.
âItâs my fault to begin with.â
Calling out a girl he wasnât even close to, asking for a cigarette.
Then the next day, blurting out in class that he âf*cking lovesâ her.
âIâd be pissed too.â
If she wasnât mad, heâd question her mental health.
Still, it was all to save her, so what could he do?
âShe obviously doesnât know that.â
He briefly considered giving up.
She was, after all, a girl he had no real connection to.
The only thing they shared was losing their fathers young.
âBut that keeps gnawing at me.â
He wasnât some comic book hero who couldnât stand injustice.
He was too busy surviving to help others.
Yet, this was something he could do.
It didnât cost muchâjust sticking by her for two weeks.
The thought of letting someone die because he couldnât manage that felt wrong.
[If even you leave, what am I supposed to do aloneâŚ]
The vivid memory of her motherâs tears at the funeral flashed in his mind.
“Park Chaerin.”
“I said Iâd kill you if you talked to me.”
She wouldnât understand his good intentions, but heâd expected this sharp attitude.
So, how do you lower the guard of someone youâve wronged?
Pausing his sweeping, he turned to her, back facing him, and bowed deeply at a perfect 90-degree angle.
“Sorry.”
The simple solution to easing her wariness: apologize.
Admit your mistake and ask for forgiveness.
It was the most straightforward and effective method.
Chaerin, still sweeping, froze, clearly not expecting such a polite apology.
Seizing her moment of surprise, Joon continued.
“This morningâs thing. Iâm really sorry. I shouldnât have said that in front of everyone.”
He wondered if he really needed to go this far to help her.
âBut I was wrong this morning.â
She glanced at him briefly before resuming her sweeping, coolly saying.
“If youâre sorry, just donât talk to me.”
“Uh⌠thatâs a bit⌔
He planned to follow her home every day starting today.
He still couldnât pinpoint the exact date of her death.
It wasnât today, based on his memory, but sticking close now would make it easier to stay near her later.
Of course, sheâd likely resist if he tried to hang around for no reason.
But that didnât matter.
“Iâm gonna walk home with you from now on, so not talking at all would be kinda weird, right?”
If sheâs the one being saved, she should just let it happen.
“âŚWhat?”
Her sweeping hand stopped.
She seemed to doubt her ears, as if sheâd misheard.
To clear any doubt, Joon said firmly.
“Iâm saying Iâll walk home with you from now on. Not talking at all would be weird, no?”
“⌔
The guy who embarrassed her in front of everyone this morning.
The guy she only spoke to for the first time yesterday.
Was now saying heâd walk home with her.
As her brain processed his words, only one question came out.
“Do you⌠actually like me?”
Joon had said no.
After today, sheâd assumed he was telling the truth.
But suggesting they walk home together?
Thatâs not something you say to someone you donât like, right?
To anyone, her question seemed reasonable.
“I donât like you.”
But reason didnât work on Joon.
“Phew⌔
Her anger visibly boiled over.
Then, with a heavy sigh, she spoke in an exhausted tone.
“You just said youâll walk home with me.”
“Yup.”
“But you donât like me.”
“Right.”
Listening calmly, Chaerin suddenly glared, her voice dripping with irritation.
“Then what, you tryna harvest my organs or something?”
“No, Iâm more like trying to protect them.”
He was jumping through hoops to save her; letting her get hurt would defeat the point.
Knowing she wouldnât understand, he quickly laughed it off.
“Kidding.”
“âŚWhatever, if you donât like me, why stick around?”
Youâre kinda pretty, and I feel some connection.
Honestly, if she were less attractive or a bully, he mightâve given up.
But after two days, she didnât seem to harm anyone, just a semi-delinquent who occasionally skipped class, so he felt a bit compelled to help.
âExplaining that would just make me sound crazier.â
No matter how many times she asked, his answer was the same.
“Because I feel like it.”
“No, youâre saying youâll hang out with me!”
Whatever, thinking more was too much hassle.
He was busy enough saving someone; did he need to justify it too?
Besides Chaerin, he was racking his brain over how to get that lottery.
But brushing her off like that?
Of course, she wasnât convinced.
“Just say you like me already⌠huh?”
“Ugh, youâre so clingy. Whyâre you dragging this out?”
“⌔
She was so stunned by his words that her mouth hung open.
âTeasing her is kinda fun.â
Seeing someone with such a sharp, cutting gaze crumble like this was oddly satisfying.
But Chaerin wasnât going to let him keep laughing.
“Argh! Not the same spot!”
“Do whatever you want, you bastard!”
Maybe the shin kick finally vented her anger.
Thankfully, Joon traded his shin for her reluctant, unspoken permission.