Chapter 8: Dreams
After locking up the classroom, Chaerin slung her bag over her shoulder.
As they walked down the hallway, matching her pace, she asked in a reluctant tone.
“Hey, are you seriously following me?”
“You said to do whatever I want.”
“âŚUgh.”
How did she end up with this lunatic?
She let out a heavy sigh filled with worry, but it was too late to turn back.
Resigned, she kept walking down the hall.
“By the way, whereâs your cram school?”
“I didnât say you could talk to me.”
Perhaps thinking it was dangerous to get dragged into his antics again, Chaerin drew a cold, sharp line with her words.
But the more she set boundaries, the more Joon seemed to enjoy crossing them, acting even more outrageous.
“What, so weâre just gonna walk in silence? Like some shy couple in the early stages?”
“Goddamn it, even when I tell you to shut up.”
I wonât react.
Just ignore him.
No matter how much she resolved, his provocations triggered an instinctive reaction, like a reflex in a spineless creature.
“Ha⌔
Realizing again that he was a lunatic, she sighed and answered his earlier question.
“Itâs Avalon, across from GS24.”
“What? Thatâs like a five-minute walk.”
Avalon, right across from the convenience store at the schoolâs main gate.
Even Joon, whoâd never attended cram school due to family circumstances, knew it was a well-known academy.
âThatâs where all the super smart kids go.â
He recalled Yuma ranting over lunch one day, cursing fluently in Korean.
[Goddamn Avalon, how do they expect me to finish a whole workbook in one day?]
Tons of homework, and theyâd cover the entire high school curriculum before even starting freshman yearâa crazy place.
If your grades werenât top-notch, youâd not only struggle to keep up but get weeded out.
âShe barely attends school classes but goes there?â
Thinking of how sheâd vanish from the classroom like the wind, he voiced his doubt.
“For someone who goes there, I donât see you studying much at school.”
“I do it all at home.”
She continued casually.
“School classes are stuff I already know. As long as I keep my attendance up, itâs fine.”
“⌔
Her confidence didnât feel like bravado at all.
âSheâs got no reason to lie to a classmateâŚâ
Still, just to be sure, he cautiously asked.
“What was your rank in middle school?”
“Third.”
“In class?”
“School-wide.”
What?
Her answer was so unexpected that he froze in shock.
âI thought she was just a typical delinquent.â
Turns out, she wasnât just a delinquentâshe was a straight-A delinquent, living more diligently than him.
âLooks sharp as hell, doesnât smoke, doesnât bully, and gets good grades.â
Aside from skipping class occasionally, it was hard to even call her a delinquent.
“Kinda feels like betrayal.”
“Whatâs that supposed to mean?”
While he hovered around fourth or fifth tier, she was on a whole different level.
âI assumed she was bad at studying.â
Park Chaerin shattered his narrow assumptions, showing a side completely opposite to her image, as if flipping him off.
“So why study so hard? What do you wanna do later?”
At his question, she suddenly fell quiet.
Her face gradually hardened, as if deep in thought.
The confidence sheâd exuded when talking about grades dimmed slightly.
“âŚDunno. Just get into a good college and figure it out.”
“Yeah?”
“⌔
Silence followed.
âDid I ask something I shouldnât have?â
Maybe it was a sensitive topic for a teenager. Bringing up career plans made the air between them awkward.
As they waited at a crosswalk, watching her mood, she spoke.
“Is it weird to study hard without a dream?”
“Didnât say it was weird.”
It wasnât just to placate her.
He genuinely respected her, and there was no reason to judge.
But Chaerin, unconvinced, snapped back with a sharper tone.
“Yeah, well, everyone says itâs pathetic to study without a dream.”
“No proper direction in life, thatâs not happiness⌔
“Everyone thinks that.”
Her words sounded resigned, but the irritation in her eyes made it more like a complaint.
A complaint about what?
âI canât pinpoint it.â
No need to, either.
Even family struggles to understand a teenage girlâs heart.
How could he, having known her for less than a week, grasp it?
But even if he couldnât read her mind, her claim that a dreamless life was pathetic opened his mouth instantly.
“Thatâs bullshit.”
Her words were undeniably wrong.
His immediate denial made her sharp gaze widen slightly in surprise.
He continued.
“You think living without a dream isnât hard enough?”
“⌔
“Those idiots who say that only worship ideals and canât see reality.”
It wasnât for her sake.
He was genuinely pissed off.
âWorrying about tomorrowâs rent, what dream am I supposed to have?â
She wasnât the only one without a dream.
Sure, their situations were a bit different.
But her words, dismissing othersâ struggles and chasing empty ideals, made his lifeâenduring for a poor familyâfeel worthless, and it pissed him off.
“Studying or working hard without a dream makes you unhappy? If they canât praise it, they should at least shut up⌠tch.”
He couldnât help but get mad, even though it was her issue.
It felt like she was mocking him.
Like those smug bastards who said a dreamless life had no value.
She stayed silent at his rhetorical question.
She hadnât expected him to vent so passionately, and her stunned eyes just stared.
The light turned green.
Glancing around cautiously, he crossed the street and said.
“If youâve got time to worry about that, just show up to school early. Donât lose exam points on attendance.”
After a brief pause, she stepped onto the crosswalk.
“âŚWhatâs that supposed to mean.”
Her expressionless face felt different from usual.
“Substitute X here and⌔
Math formulas scribbled on the board.
The cram school teacher lectured passionately, but today, it wasnât sinking in.
[So whatâs your dream?]
[Whatâre you gonna do after getting into a good college?]
She was good at studying but had never felt passionate about anything, and those questions always followed her.
They didnât feel great, but they werenât wrong.
âEven if I get into a good college, if I donât figure out what to do, itâs all for nothing.â
Her mother, who chased and achieved her dreams since childhood, made Chaerin feel even more inadequate for not having a path.
When friends wrote their aspirations on career forms, sheâd leave hers blank before hastily scribbling âcivil servant,â feeling pathetic.
Then, a guy sheâd only spoken to yesterday said:
[Living without a dream is hard enough.]
A guy usually joking around got dead serious, as if it were his own issue.
âWhyâs he suddenly so intense?â
She thought he was just a carefree goof, so his attitude caught her off guard.
Tapping her desk, she recalled his irritated words.
[Those idiots only worship ideals and canât see reality.]
[Working or studying hard without a dream makes you unhappy? If they canât praise it, they should at least shut up⌠tch.]
“Pfft⌔
Thinking back, a laugh slipped out.
Recalling how he fiercely shut down her whining without a momentâs hesitation.
She laughed unintentionally, and the quiet classroom turned to look at her.
“Chaerin? Whyâre you laughing?”
“Oh, itâs nothing.”
Her pure laugh, so unlike her usual vibe, drew curious stares.
âUgh⌠embarrassing.â
She blushed slightly at the unintended attention but didnât feel bad.
âWhat a weird guy.â
Asking for a cigarette out of nowhere.
Saying he doesnât like her but will walk home with her anyway.
âSeriously, what a nutcase.â
Her boring life had met a new spark.
She didnât yet realize she was enjoying it, butâŚ
âChaerin laughing like that?â
Her friend next to her noticed.
A laugh so pure it made you doubt your ears.
A softened expression with a faint smile.
Whatever happened, it was the happiest sheâd looked in months at cram school.